I get out of the shower and just stand there, dripping wet, butt-naked and pick out all the things I hate about my body. I am not tan. My hair is too frizzy and not straight. My abs are hiding under a layer of pudge. My arms wave back. I have cellulite on my thighs. My booty isn’t perky enough. I have small boobs. My skin keeps breaking out. I get annoyed with how I look and quickly put on my clothes so I don’t have to look at it anymore. Do you do this too?
I call this the self-esteem struggle. Yes, males can suffer like this too. But females are much more emotionally impacted by their own self image. These tendencies start when we are young. We get so down on ourselves for not being skinny enough, fit enough, tan enough, tall enough, and on and on and on. There is an endless list of things that we can find wrong or that we don’t like.
I often find myself having a bad day or emotional about something and I eat…then I feel guilty and I struggle with keeping that in my stomach. When I was in high school I suffered from bulimia nervosa. I would “eat my emotions” to cope with whatever I was dealing with at the time and then I would go throw it all up so that I wouldn’t gain weight. Now mind you, I was 5’4 weighing 115 pounds. If I could go back and slap myself for thinking I was fat, I would. Nevertheless, a close friend found out and got me help and I recovered. That didn’t mean the symptoms went away. I still sometimes have to fight with those demons.
Society has such a skewed view on what a girl should “look like”. Everyone is beautiful inside and out. There are things that you can do to make your life healthy! Eating right, getting an adequate amount of exercise and having a good support system.
I am a mother of two. I have the “mom pooch” and I hate it! So yes I work out and try to eat healthy. I use supplements and I wrap. I don’t expect it to do the work for me, but it helps tighten, tone, and firm that excess skin.
I have to tell myself everyday that I am not ugly or fat and that I am a strong, beautiful, smart woman and that I am better than all these bad thoughts I think about myself. As long as I am actively trying to better myself I find it is harder to hate those “flaws”.
If I can do this, so can you. You are beautiful so love yourself.